If there is anyone in this
country that has in recent times discovered a very potent means of pinching
people, especially Nigerian celebrities, where it hurts most is a dude whose
parents named Pascal Uche Ejikeme. He is one dude with a thousand names, to
Olisa Adibua of Beat FM, he is a nobody and a failed artiste, to Freeze of Cool
FM, he is a moron, a fool, a shameless waste….and what else?...an old fool. (That
gives you clue that Uncle Pascal is not a small boy, for Daddy Freeze to have
referred to him as “Old”). To an average Nigerian, he is a talkative, a trouble
maker and sometimes an attention seeker, but he however calls himself ETCETERA.
Ironically Etcetera, usually shortened as etc means and so on and so forth,
which could be interpreted to mean his name is open ended, and anyone can
freely add their choice.
Therefore, let me seize that golden opportunity to
freely add my own name to his long list of names. On the first assessment I
think he is a blood thirsty vampire whose mission is to maim and hurt people’s
ego, but looking carefully beyond the vicious image he has successfully painted
himself, I think Etcetera might be an Angel, if and only if he learns how to
hide or at least manicure his fangs. Although on the contrary, Olisa Adibua
thinks etc means End of Thinking Capability.
In case you are wondering what
the sweet faced ex-musician could have done to deserve all these not too friendly
names, the truth is that he has actually done many right things wrongly , using
his Etcetera Live Column in Punch Newspaper and his facebook page as weapons of
warfare and his point blank articles as live ammunitions. I think his first
article I read was about my favorite music genre, Fuji Music, in which he
graphically analyze Fuji music industry, I remember I could not agree more to
all the submissions he made in that particular piece. The writing however
failed to raise the desired dust as my Fuji brothers who could have felt offended
are not the article reading type. Ever since then I’ve unconsciously been
looking out for his articles. Thanks to www.ladunliadinews.com
and many other blogs who afforded those of us who are yet to form the habit of
buying newspapers the opportunity of reading some of his articles, notable
among them were the ones he wrote on “2nd hand husbands”, OAP’s,
Celebrities and Telecommunication Companies, Awards and reality competitions,
NAFDAC & SON, Celebrities Marriage Crash, Fashola is wrong and the recent
one on body magic and push up bras among others. Having gone through all these,
I honestly think Etcetera is more right than wrong in all his submissions,
except for the piece titled “Fashola is wrong” in which he condemned the
introduction of paternity and maternity leave in Lagos State. I personally
disagree with him on that one, maybe not because his arguments are not sound
but because I am an unrepentant admirer of BRF and his disciplinarian policies,
which makes me think he is almost infallible and in fact the best President
Nigeria should dream of having, but then I remind myself that opinion is
neither right nor wrong and everybody is entitled to one.
His piece about 2nd hand
husbands which invoked the wrath of Sisi Tiwa and Mr. Balogun is highly
rhetoric, while the one on OAP’s accent and all is almost as accurate as 6 and
half a dozen, same goes for his writing on Awards and competitions in which
people still text with money to vote even when the competition is already done
and dusted. For all these thought provoking and secret revealing master pieces,
I believe Etcetera deserves an applause for trying to address issues besetting
the industry hence the reason why I said he might be an Angel sent to sanitize
the industry. But unfortunately he is allowing his venom to contaminate the
game, thus making it unfit for consumption. If truly his aim is to correct what
he perceived as an anomaly and sanitize the industry like the Angel I
singularly believe he is and not to get squared with celebrities, hurt their
ego, dampen their moral, soil their reputation and make them feel like an enemy
of progress or a scattered brain…I believe he should have come by the way of
humour.
Actually he did employ humour,
but what he used is called Aggresive Humour, which is not suitable for the
purpose of genuine and effective correction amidst contemporaries. The style he
has beautifully adopted is best used when correcting a society, superior
personalities or authority e.g. political powers and not contemporaries or
subordinates, because one of the cardinal rules of satire is never to have an
attachment with the target. The best use of humour in this situation and
circumstances dictates that such humour should walk side by side with
diplomacy, which avoids naming of names, calling of names, judging and vivid
description, in fact the 4th Humane Humour Rule dictates that one
should never target the victim. That’s why I’m persuaded to think Etcetera
might actually be an Angel sent from heaven to liberate and sanitize the
entertainment industry and possibly our dear nation, but he needs to learn how
to hide his fangs or at least file them properly, so they won’t be pointing to
a specific direction. Only then will his points be taken and worked upon
without bitterness of any kind whatsoever.
Written on the 7th of September 2014
Kayode Adeniyi AFOUDA
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