3 PRACTICAL STEPS TO HUMOROUSLY AVOID SHAME, USING T-BOSS OF #BBBAIJA AS A CASE STUDY

                 

Sometimes in life, we are beaten and battered by different kind of feelings, hunger, loneliness, anger, grief among others. But I've personally observed and realized that one of the most painful feelings in this life is just a five letter word, shame. Shame has made many people desert their family and friends, shame has made many people commit suicide, shame has cost many people the friendships and opportunities  of a lifetime. Shame is a feeling that is better imagined than experienced.

One interesting thing about this humiliating feeling, is that it comes through different channels and in different dimensions and we encounter hundreds of them daily. The good thing however is that, what makes Mr. A ashamed could actually amuse Mr. B. That tells us that some personal or individual traits becomes relevant when determining what causes shame. In other words my personality becomes a determinant factor in considering whether the statement that amused Mr. A will amuse me too or makes me feel humiliated and ashamed. If that is the case and it has been established that anything at all could provoke the feeling of shame, anywhere at anytime, then it is only wise for me to equip my personality with whatever can help me to displace the negative feeling. Then I can be guaranteed of a fun filled day, which has great effects on my profitability and my productivity. 

Let me quickly share with you 3 quick ways to use humour in displacing or defusing the feeling of shame, using T-Boss of the ongoing Big Brother Naija reality show as a case study. For the sake of my international readers outside Africa, Big Brother Naija is a reality show where Housemates are confined to a particular building for 90 days or thereabout, and they get evicted one after the other. The show has gotten to the last week of this present season and 5 lucky housemates are still standing; the never sure songstress Debby Rise, the foodie Marvis, the multi-talented Bisola, the realest man of the house, based on logistics, Efe and of course our case study, the controversial half caste, Tokunbo Idowu, better known as T-Boss. During a truth or dare game, her closest ally in the house, the apologetic Debby Rise had asked her to sing the 

Nigerian national anthem, but unfortunately for the sanitary prefect, T Boss, she mixed the first and second stanza up to the amusement of all other housemates, but to T-Boss that was the most humiliating and shameful experience ever. So what could the Domina of the Boss Nation have done to save herself from the shame; 

1. LAUGH IT OFF - When you are confronted with a question you have no answers to, instead of fooling yourself, dodge It openly, if possible. When you are laughing it off, be careful not to give the fake impression that you really have the answer as that might have an adverse effect, just laugh and tell them to please excuse you from the question. If it's an interview, it might cost you the job but it's won't bring you shame. Not too long ago, one 82 years old ambassadorial nominee in Nigeria, flagrantly refused to sing the national anthem when he was being screened by the Senate, although he lost the job, but at least his funny and embarrassing video, is not trending on social media. But trust me, the result could have been different if he laughed it off, instead of blatant refusal. So imagine if it was even an informal setting like the Big Brother Naija House, laughing it off would have being a piece of cake. 

2. BE THE FIRST TO LAUGH: Don't take life too seriously, because life itself is not very serious. Life jokes a lot and it expects you to laugh at its joke, and personally speaking I've realized that life takes offence when it cracks a joke and you don't get the joke. So when next life cracks a joke, especially at your expense, be the first to laugh. Ability to laugh at your own mistakes is the surest escape route from shame. Imagine if it was Bisola that was asked to sing the national anthem and she couldn't or Efe. What do you think they would have done? Sincerely, it wouldn't have become news, because they have mastered the act of laughing at themselves. Bisola laughs whenever they make reference to her upper jaw, calling her alligator. So.......

3. IT'S NEVER TOO LATE TO LAUGH:  If you are too stunned to laugh at that moment which is very possible, especially when you are shocked and/or disappointed at the same time,make sure you have your own good laugh, once you regain your composure. At the last Big Brother Saturday night party, Efe had too much to drink and he became super emotional, sobbing like a kid, the following day he made so much fun of himself, saying, "I don cast". All other housemate, joined him to laugh and that was the end, he wasn't beating himself or looking for someone to blame. Only if T-Boss had been that flexible and could actually see the funny part of her mistake, I'm sure it wouldn't have been a trending issue that coukd affect her chances. Last year December, when Wizkid curved Ceaser, Eva's boyfriend, it took just a minute instagram video for Eva and her man to dislodge the supposed shame, they simply had their good laugh, even after the whole country had laughed at them, and that ended the trend. 

Try out this three magic moves and you will be amazed at the result you will get but above all be desperate for nothing as that will help you to view life as it is and see the funny part of life.In the words of Elbert Hubbard, "Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive."

Afouda Samuel 

07-04-2017

08162746129

afoudalafta@gmail.com